Every year I try to predict the future. Well, perhaps it is more accurate to say that I try to entertain people with my outlandish and silly guesses about the Boston Celtics. This time, I thought I’d put a slightly different spin on things. Instead of predicting the Celtics fate (which, if we’re honest, could be just about anything from tanking to title this year), I thought I’d predict things about you. Yes, you. Or I guess the general sense of “you” as Boston Celtics fans. After 20+ years of covering this team, I have acquired a pretty decent idea of how this fanbase operates. So, here’s my guesses.
The Anfernee Simons reaction arc
Nothing is more predictable than this. At first, fans will largely be looking to trade him for whatever we can get. He’ll be greeted and treated like a short timer with mild interest, mostly for what his trade value will end up being. Then, he’ll start scoring, like a lot. People will see his box scores and raw scoring stats and wonder just how he landed in Boston in a salary dump trade. The team in general will struggle on defense and Simmons will not help on that end, but it won’t all be his fault.
So eventually, he’s going to win over fans and people are going to flip from trying to trade him to trying to see how the team can re-sign him to a “reasonable” (i.e. team-friendly) contract going forward. I’ve stopped trying to predict what Brad Stevens will do (mostly because he keeps exceeding my expectations) but if I had to guess, I’d say that Simons will be traded at the deadline, just after a two-week stretch of averaging 25 points per game.
The center candidates will be a Myers-Briggs test for fans
Without a clear-cut pecking order at center, there will be an interesting debate over who should get the most minutes. It will boil down to your personality type.
Neemias Queta – You are big hearted and loyal …sometimes to a fault. You develop connections with people quickly and stand by those you know. You are able to look past their faults and support them through difficult times. I just worry that you might be a little too trusting sometimes.
Luka Garza – You are always looking to the future and are optimistic …sometimes to a fault. When there’s little evidence to go on, you tend to believe in the positive potential. You close your eyes and see the next stretch big man with a long career in Boston. Just remember to open those eyes as the season progresses and we get a larger sample size.
Chris Boucher – You are a realist and require tangible evidence to believe …sometimes to a fault. Nobody else on the roster has the resume that Boucher has and therefore you can’t imagine the team starting anyone else. Someone else is going to have to prove that they can play at this level to take the spot away from him. Even if he’s not a long term solution, or really even a center.
Xavier Tillman – You adopt runaway dogs and nurse woodland animals back to health. Bless you and your huge heart.
Amari Williams – You are openly rooting for this team to tank for the highest draft position possible. You also haven’t lived long enough to understand how these things work, so you’re excused from having these silly notions. Or maybe you just like to watch the world burn. You’ll grow out of it.
The wing rotation will be a flavor of the week situation
I think the wings will be cycled in and out of the rotation all year. It will be less a Myers-Briggs test and more of a Rorschach test. They will each see something different, and it might change as we get multiple looks at the same players over time. Sometimes Jordan Walsh will look like Herb Jones and sometimes he’ll look like Average Joe. Sometimes fans will be saying “why not Minott?” and other times they’ll be saying “sorry, but it’s not Minott.” I think people want to believe in Baylor Scheierman, but if he can’t hit shots from deep, he’s going to find it hard to win people over. Hugo Gonzalez is a rookie, so of course he’s going to have his peaks and valleys and get a lot of rope.
By the end of the year there will probably be more of a consensus, but it will take some time. Oh yeah, and don’t be surprised if one or two of them is thrown into a trade.
Of course we’ll talk ourselves into Jayson Tatum coming back and leading us in the playoffs
This is already happening, and Tatum himself is to blame. Logically, we shouldn’t expect him at all this season. Or if he does come back, it probably should be long after he’s been cleared and only on a minutes restriction or whatever. At least that’s what feels correct, but I never did very well in science.
Apparently, he has bionic heels that would make Achilles himself jealous. He’s an absolute gym rat nut who refuses to do load management or sit out for any reason. He’s missed a total of 59 regular season games in his career — a number he could double by March 4th if he doesn’t come back sooner. If he gets the nod from his medical team, you won’t be able to keep him off the court.
I don’t know where the team will be in the standings at that point. I don’t know what kind of team is going to be around him at that point. But I know if he’s on the court, we will believe. And honestly, I wouldn’t change that for anything. Go Tatum, go Celtics!
