Trading Anfernee Simons to all 30 teams (part 1)

Anfernee Simons is a quality basketball player (as evidenced by his recent play). In particular, he’s exceptionally skilled at scoring the basketball (something a lot of teams have trouble with). In the right situation on the right team he could prove to be very valuable. That team might even be the Boston Celtics (thus 30 teams instead of just 29).

However, Anfernee Simons (and his $27.7M expiring contract) is also one of the more useful trade assets that Brad Stevens has at his disposal this season. A new trade suggestion makes its way around social media every week so I thought I’d take it a step further and look for a trade with all 30 teams (results may vary).

First some ground rules. I’m very, very biased and want the best for my team, but I’m also trying to be somewhat reasonable in my return packages. I won’t assume we can trade for Wemby or Cooper Flagg just because I can make the salaries match. Also, I’m just a simple caveman CelticsBlogger, and haven’t scouted every other team in the league extensively, so forgive me if I undervalue someone else’s hidden gems. Finally, I’m going to restrict myself to deals between two teams, because I feel like simple is always more realistic.

Finally, here’s a little something for the fine human beings that actually read these preambles instead of jumping right to the comments section to tell me how much my trades stink. The term MacGuffin is defined as “a plot device that either serves as a catalyst for the action in a story. It can be a goal, person, object, or idea the characters are in pursuit of, and it generally needs to be revealed in the first act.” One of the more famous examples is “Rosebud” from Citizen Kane. Do I really care if any of my trade ideas actually happen? Nope (though I will crow about it if any of them actually happen). All I really care about is furthering discussions and giving you fun content to consume. So if anyone in the comments section is giving me a hard time, feel free to hit them with a reply of “Rosebud” and leave them wondering what the heck you are talking about. Respectfully, of course.

The problem with doing this list in alphabetical order is that your first impression of my list starts with a team with no reasonable deals. There are some salaries that could be cobbled together to work, but I couldn’t see any way that Atlanta would do them unless things fall completely apart. So I’ll punt on this one and note that if they decided to trade Trae Young, the Celtics could act as a facilitator using Simons’ expiring contract.

Here is where I get cute and point out that sometimes the best deals are the ones you don’t make. On paper Simons is still a fantastic fit as a bench scorer. He’s not necessarily going to be a 20 points per game performer in this role and he’s never going to be a plus defender. There is still a place in the league for that archetype of player, but the new CBA is increasingly going to push the market for those players down. If Simons can prove through the next few months that he’s bought into the system and role that Joe Mazzulla wants for him, then there’s a chance he could be on the team beyond the deadline and even re-signed in the offseason (likely to a lower annual number than he makes currently).

Now on to the semi-realistic trade ideas.

Simons for Nic Claxton works straight up and saves the Celtics $2.3M this year.

Gives the Celtics a decent option at center, but also adds $45M of salary across the next couple of years. So you better be happy with his fit.

Simons for Collin Sexton and Tre Mann.

This gets an emphatic shrug from me.

Simons for Nikola Vucevic works straight up (both expiring deals) and saves the Celtics $6.2M.

If the Celtics want a veteran center that can still contribute (at least in the short term) then this deal makes a lot of sense. I actually thought this was one of the more realistic offseason options for both teams, but it never materialized. The more the Bulls win, the less they’ll want to shake things up. In theory at least. I won’t pretend to understand the Chicago decision process.

The numbers just don’t work with the Cavs. Closest match is DeAndre Hunter but then they would need to add salaries and I don’t know why they’d want to do that. So mark them down as another team that could call the Celtics if they wanted someone to facilitate a 3 teamer.

Simons for Tobias Harris works straight up (both expiring deals) and saves the Celtics $1.0M.

Simons for Obi Toppin and Jarace Walker saves the Celtics $7M this year.

Would be worth it just to see Celtics fans talk themselves into Obi.

Simons for Terry Rozier saves the Celtics $1M this year. Both are expiring deals. This assumes the league would allow him to be traded and I would assume Rozier would quickly be waived.

Let’s just say that I wouldn’t …bet on it.

Simons for Kyle Kuzma saves the Celtics $5.3M this year, but Kuzma has another year at $20M on the books.

I don’t like it any more than you do. The Bucks don’t even have any picks to give us in exchange. Though Kuzma and Tatum on the same team would be funny for that old Lakers meme. This probably only happens if there’s a mandate to get under the 1st apron/tax line.

None. The only player that seems close is Josh Hart (making $19M) but he’s too valuable for what they need and Simons is the polar opposite. The Knicks also don’t have a reasonable salary or two to make up the difference with Simons’ salary. Perhaps if a 3rd team got involved, but I don’t see the motivation on New York’s side.

This… got complicated. Here’s what I came up with: Simons, Hauser, and Queta for Wendell Carter Jr., Jonathan Isaac, Goga Bitadze, and Jett Howard.

The Celtics get bigger, the Magic get shooting and dump some salary in the offseason if they don’t re-sign Simons. Not sure who says no first, but it is likely too complex to realistically consider.

Can’t make it work without a 3rd team getting involved. Sorry, I tried but they only have very expensive players and very cheap players and the math didn’t math.

Simons for RJ Barrett almost works. According to Spotrac the deal fails because it adds $26,786 to the Celtics payroll and “a 1st apron team cannot take in more salary than it is sending out.“ I know I said no 3rd teams, but I have to imagine that Brad could find a way to swap a couple of minimum deals to make the numbers work.

Simons, Scheierman, and Tillman for CJ McCollum works. It effectively swaps expiring contracts and gives the Wizards a chance to take a flyer on Scheierman and Tillman. McCollum might just be an expiring deal, but he also might be willing to take a steeper paycut to stick around than the younger Simons.

I’m going to finish this list with the Western Conference teams another day. I’ll also endeavor to propose bonus trade ideas in order to make up for the teams that I had to skip. No promises though.

So now that you’ve reached the bottom of my list (for now), feel free to give me your honest feedback. I will pretend not to let it hurt me deeply. Also, feel free to propose your own ideas, or make the stronger case for why Simons shouldn’t be traded. Enjoy!