On the final day of a very busy month for me (my 11th column posted in 31 days), WWE presents Clash In Paris, the company’s latest attempt at a world takeover.
The Paris La Défense Arena in Nanterre, France… in the western suburbs of Paris… is already on fire, and if the energy of these fans during a pre-show that features no wrestlers and no matches is any indication, we’re probably going to have another classic wrestling crowd for this one.
We have a six-match card here, with four title matches, a Good Ol’ Fashioned Donnybrook, and two singles matches that, in Roman Reigns and John Cena, feature two of the biggest stars of all-time.
Time to see what the French fans have in store for us.
Let’s rock.
Roman Reigns vs Bronson Reed
The idea of Bronson having to travel from state to state, and now from country to country, with a lei made out of Roman Reigns’ shoes is hilarious to me. I’d get a kick (pun intended) out of him continuing to steal Roman’s shoes, actually, adding a third pair, a fourth pair, a fifth pair, and so on to the shoe-la fala. Why not?
The match hasn’t gotten underway yet, but we just got through the introductions of both men, and this crowd hasn’t stopped making noise once. They’re chanting and singing up a storm, but when they’re not doing that, they’re cheering and booing. There’s 31,000+ fans in the building, which is a really big number for an arena show, but it sounds like there’s a lot more than that.
“Fuck you, Bronson” chants break out after Bronson plays to the crowd. Hilariously, the censors let several curses slide by before they tried muting one of them unsuccessfully, and then they just gave up.
Not that anyone should’ve been expecting anything else, but we’ve had a slower pace for this one so far. I like how it has been laid out, though. Roman is trying his usual ways that have led him to be the most dominant performer of this generation, but it isn’t working, as the giant Bronson continues stopping him at every turn. Roman can’t build any momentum at all.
Roman just went for a Spear, but Bronson simply stood there and absorbed the move, grabbing Roman and quickly lifting him up for a powerbomb. That was impressive.
As expected, Roman was able to dig deep and pick up the win. However, this was a big-time performance from Bronson Reed. He looked like a million bucks, and looked like he truly belonged in the ring with one of the top names in the business. Star making type of stuff. That was a ton of fun to watch. I’ll go with 4 Stars.
Roman climbs the announce table to celebrate, and we see both Jelly Roll and Post Malone in the front row throwing up the ones and acknowledging their Tribal Chief. It makes sense to see them, as they’re going to be in concert on Wednesday night in this very same arena.
As Paul Heyman checks on a fallen Bronson, Roman enters the ring and stalks his former “Wise Man.” Heyman panics as only Heyman can do, saying how much he loves Roman. As a peace offering, Heyman hands over the shoe-la fala, which Roman accepts. Just when Heyman feels safe, Roman locks him in a Guillotine Choke, anyway. Heyman taps out, and Roman eventually lets him go.
After getting the shoe-la fala untied, Roman begins signing the individual sneakers and tossing them into the crowd. What he doesn’t see is Bron Breakker, who teleports out of nowhere to be standing atop the French announce table. Bron hits a Spear, and both men crash through the table.
Roman finally gets back to his feet and is being escorted to the back, but Bron Breakker turns back around and hits a Spear after running down the aisle at full speed. Roman is rolled back into the ring, and Bron holds his arms out as Bronson lands a Tsunami. EMTs are brought out and we’re getting a full stretcher job for Roman. See you again for Survivor Series, I guess, Mr. Reigns.
As Roman is strapped to a backboard, Bronson runs back to the ring yet again and delivers another Tsunami. Jey Uso FINALLY makes his way out to make the save, but the numbers game is too much for him, and he takes a Spear from Breakker. If we’re going to be fair for Jey, it made sense for him to take a while to come out, as he should realistically be preparing for his World Heavyweight Title match later in the show, and not just ready to make an entrance at the drop of a hat. The crowd chants for CM Punk, but nothing happens. An entire team of incompetent security guards and WWE officials are unable to keep Roman safe, and Bronson runs back around the ring to deliver ANOTHER Tsunami to Roman. That poor son of a bitch is taking a beating. Paul Patrol look like absolute killers right now.
Lots going on here. With the opening video package, the entrances, the match itself, and all of the post-match happenings, we’re almost 53 minutes into the show with only one match down.
Hey, we’re not done yet! After a video package, we cut to the backstage area, where Adam Pearce kicks both Bron and Bronson out of the building, saying that he will suspend them indefinitely without pay if he sees them again.
Dexter Lumis & Joe Gacy vs The Street Profits – WWE Tag Team Title Match
At 57 minutes in, the Profits make their entrance for the next match, dressed as characters from the Borderline video game series. It’s not 100% random, though, because Borderlands 4 is one of the sponsors for tonight’s show. I wouldn’t say the Profits look bad in the cosplay attire, but it’s a weird look for them, as it doesn’t really fit their characters.
Uncle Howdy with the “oui, oui, oui” tribute to Brodie Lee. Nice touch.
Dawkins and Montez have a disagreement over who is going to start the match. Montez goes to do it, but Dawk puts his hand on Ford’s chest and points at the turnbuckle area. Then, almost immediately after the match starts, Montez stiffly hits Dawkins to tag himself back in. Uh oh. The multi-year tease of a Street Profits split continues on.
The story of a Profits split has slowed down a bit. They appear to be working together just fine. For now, at least.
I’ll give Lumis and Gacy credit where it’s due. I’ve never been a fan of their in-ring work, and have felt their character work was much stronger, but they’ve been doing a really good job together as a tag team. Their in-ring chemistry is getting better on a seemingly weekly basis.
After interference from Nikki Cross leads to Uncle Howdy hitting Montez with a Sister Abigail at ringside, the champions pick up the pin and the win, retaining their titles. The match was pretty good while it lasted, but I could’ve done without the interference finish. It wasn’t needed. 3.25 Stars. The descent of the Street Profits continues, although we don’t get anything happening after the match, as we go right to a promo video for Borderlands 4 instead.
Becky Lynch vs Nikki Bella – WWE Women’s Intercontinental Title Match
This is the first title opportunity for Nikki since she unsuccessfully tried to take the Raw Women’s Title from Ronda Rousey at the first Evolution pay-per-view back in 2018, and that was her first title shot since she unsuccessfully tried to win the Smackdown Women’s Title at Backlash 2016. We’re almost a full decade since Nikki held a title, going all the way back to September 20th, 2015, when she lost the Divas Title to Charlotte at Night Of Champions 2015. No reason to bring all that up, other than to point out how long it has been since Nikki was at the top of her game. I am glad to see her return to the ring after what was thought to be a career-ending neck injury, though.
Nic Nemeth recently made news when he said that he thinks Becky and Nikki have legitimate disdain for each other, based on the looks in their eyes when they cut promos on each other. He might be right. So far, there have been some stiff strikes here.
Then… there’s whatever the hell we just witnessed. Nikki jumps to the middle rope, with her back to Becky, then jumps off to perform a kick, but she doesn’t even come CLOSE to landing it, hitting the mat a few feet away from Becky. To make it even worse, Becky’s wrestler brain kicked in, and she recoiled as Nikki hit the mat, “selling” the move for a moment before snapping out of it and going on the attack. That was really ugly. Sure enough, the jokes are flying on social media, with many of them involving Nikki getting her revenge on John Cena by performing the move on him.
The crowd was already a fan of Becky here, but it seems like Nikki’s botch has really turned them against her. They’re booing her offense and cheering for everything Becky does now.
Becky gets the pin to retain her title. The match was decent enough, but will definitely be remembered for that ugly spot more than anything else that happened. They just didn’t have the right level of chemistry out there. Let’s call it 2.5 Stars and move on.
Sheamus vs Rusev – Good Ol’ Donnybrook Match
Time for some physicality.
The shameless plugs for Logan Paul’s Prime continue. For the match, the ringside area features a section that looks like an Irish pub, complete with the hilariously poor photoshop picture of Sheamus’ “grandfather.” When you think of the Irish people, and Irish pubs, it’s only natural to think about them drinking… Prime. There are Prime bottles all over the pub set. Lame.
LMAO @ Woi Bar-ruh apparently burping/coughing into his microphone, and Michael Cole having to talk about how disgusting it was. We’re going off the rails.
After some kendo stick shots and clubbing forearms from Rusev, Sheamus has welts and marks all over his body. That didn’t take long.
“Rusev Day” chants break out, and Rusev covers his ears, telling the crowd to stop.
Sheamus delivers Ten Beats Of The Bodhrán on three different occasions, each time technically landing more than ten shots. We got the original version, then a version with Rusev draped over the pub set, and then another version with Rusev draped over the guardrail and delivered with a shillelagh.
Both men are battered and bruised now, and the crowd appreciates every bit of it.
The two climb to the top of stacked whiskey barrels, and after an Accolade, Sheamus ends up reversing it and dropping Rusev with White Noise through two tables set up at ringside. Really cool looking spot. Impressively, Rusev is the first to get to his feet, and he crawls back into the ring.
Rusev goes to hit Sheamus with the shillelagh, but Sheamus NAILS him with a Brogue Kick for a 2.999 count that had the crowd completely buying in as the finish. The cameras cut to several shocked faces in the crowd.
Rusev grabs a broken piece of the shillelagh, and he uses it to assist him in delivering another Accolade to Sheamus, who is forced to tap out. Michael Cole says that it is only the second time that Sheamus has tapped out during his entire career, but he doesn’t mention the other instance.
Fun, physical brawl that we all thought it would be. 4.25 Stars. Both men looked good here, and they’re going to pay for it for the duration of this trip.
John Cena vs Logan Paul
The crowd erupts for Cena’s entrance music, and then get even louder when the man himself walks out. They’re going nuts for the guy.
The atmosphere continued on during Cena’s introduction. It’s like a WrestleMania main event feel. I’ll tell you this… I’m not ready for John to leave. I’m going to be a mess for his final show.
Logan is busting out moves that he has either never done before, or has rarely used in the past. I like that a lot. It shows that winning this match would mean a lot to him.
Seriously, this crowd is insane. They’ve been pretty hot from the start of the pre-show, but they are on fire for this match. They are losing their shit for everything Cena does, and they despise everything Logan does.
Logan has a bloody nose, and what appears to be some bruising on his face to go with it. Looks like Cena caught him with something solid at some point.
Cena has some blood on his forehead, and it looks like it’s his, but it could be from the aforementioned battered face of Logan.
Cena hits Logan with the Styles Clash, naturally making the crowd lose their fucking minds with the same chant they had for AJ Styles back at Backlash France. This is incredible.
Attitude Adjustment for what seems like the 20th time in the match, but this time, it’s enough to get the win for Cena. Great, great match. With that crowd reaction, this would’ve been entertaining if John and Logan were playing Magic The Gathering against each other. The fact that they delivered a BANGER of a match to go with that crowd reaction was even better. 4.5 Stars
Folks… you can hate Logan Paul as a human being all you want, but please stop the bullshit about how he isn’t any good in the ring. He is great at what he does, and he continues to show that he is a future WrestleMania main event player and World Champion, like I’ve been saying all along. He worked his ass off out there, and his work helped to elevate the game of John Cena, who keeps turning back the clock with his performances.
Seth Rollins vs LA Knight vs Jey Uso vs CM Punk – Fatal Four-Way for the WWE World Heavyweight Title
Main event time.
It is revealed that Paul Heyman has been taken to a hospital after his attack at the hands of Roman Reigns earlier, and we’re then reminded that Bron Breakker and Bronson Reed have been thrown out of the building. In a pre-match backstage promo, Rollins lays it on very thick that he’s all alone, which has everyone speculating that we’re about to see a new member of The Vision making their debut. We’ll see.
The crowd went nuts for Jey Uso’s entrance, then went nuts for LA Knight’s entrance, and then went nuts for CM Punk’s entrance. Elite levels of stamina from these fans, who don’t appear to be tired after singing, yelling, and chanting for hours. They even saved a bunch of energy to “sing” along to the entrance music of Seth Rollins. I understand the difficulties of making this type of thing happen, but I don’t even know why WWE bothers to do shows in the United States anymore. Outside of MAYBE two or three cities, the crowds aren’t anything memorable. However, every single time the company travels outside of the United States, the crowds put on a show all by themselves.
While the three challengers are definitely focused on going after the champion, they’re also struggling to get along with each other. Punk and Jey, specifically, can’t seem to go more than a couple minutes without hitting each other in some fashion.
Nice back-and-forth-and-back-and-forth-and-back-and-forth match so far. Everybody has had early opportunities to get momentum, but it eventually gets snuffed out, and then we move to someone else building momentum.
Punk is about to hit Rollins with a Go To Sleep, but a very petite person in a hoodie and mask runs in and hits Punk in the Little Phils. The person unmasks themselves, revealing that it was Becky Lynch. It’s all the distraction that Seth needed to recover and hit Punk with a Stomp. The champion retains his title. Becky is trash talking Punk, angry at him for trying to take food out of her daughter’s mouth.
Another really entertaining match. I don’t think it quite hit the “great” territory, but I’m going to say that it was 3.75 Stars. Hard hitting, lots of action, and everyone got a chance to shine. The only real downside was WWE basically choreographing that someone was going to help Seth win, so we were all kind of just waiting for that moment.
LOL @ Seth getting in Post Malone’s face, telling him to go “write some sad songs about it,” as Post appears upset over the match finish.
After the show goes off the air, Punk stops in front of a sign that asks for him to bring AJ Lee back. Punk scratches his cheek in contemplation, points at the sign, and then points at his own head as Big E name drops AJ Lee for a possible return to combat the addition of Becky Lynch to Seth Rollins’ act. I’m with it.
Outside of Becky vs Nikki, this was a great pay-per-view showing from top to bottom. I had three matches that hit the 4-star mark or higher, with another match juuuuust missing that level.
If you didn’t watch the show, I’m giving it a major recommendation.
Thank you for reading, and for taking time out of your own schedules to check my thoughts on things. I’ll be back tomorrow with my usual weekly column, starting off the month of September.
